The Princess

Some time in 2008

So my friend...
... with all this shit she had learned to accept and realize, she felt overwhelmed
and exausted and she called me up and said
"Once upon a time there was a beautiful young princess with long violet hair.
She lived in a beautiful castle all by herself. Her mother was vanished. Her father died
fighting. And she had no siblings.
Her whole life she had been alone. She had always been too shy to talk to anyone.
Every day she would sit by the window and watch all the kids play ball in the yard and
she wished she could just walk down and play with them.
But she was too afraid.
So she would just walk into her room and cry for days, until she had the strength to, again,
sit by the window and wish she could be one of them.
One day she was sitting by the window and one of the boys accidentally kicked the ball into
her window. The window broke and a shard of glass stabbed the princess in the heart.
Nobody saw or heard anything.
And she was dead."

I wasn't sure what to say.
"I don't know, but it seems pointless to make yourself feel obligated to do things in order
to live a happy life. I am not sure about the direct description of happiness but I am sure
it has nothing what so ever to do with 'obligation'."
I mean, waste your life... but be okay with it. And if you are not ok with it... then don't do it.
Seems easy huh?"
My friend told me how she had been doubting her abilities to live a truthful life and how
terrified she was of getting to know the real person she was, and how these "things" helped
her forget about all the things that really matter.
"When the birds sing the same old song, and routine takes over your life, don't you already
know exactly who you are?
Don't you know who the person is that you are afraid to be?
So make a choice!"
Misery is... knowing, every morning, exactly how your day is going to end.
Misery is... knowing, exactly how much more you will hate yourself today.
You are not your water bill!
You are not  the filthy toilet in your bathroom.
Why don't you just BE!
I am not telling you to become a fucking gutterpunk.
I am not telling you to become anything...
Just don't live in silence, and tell yourself the way you live makes you happy, because that is fucking bullshit. Nobody is happy when they worry.
If you find yourself sitting in the window wishing you were one of them... ask yourself...
AM I HAPPY???
So if you want to be who you are then you need to remember who you are not!
And you are not the things you worry about...
... to be continued...